Hit bottom and rise up!

addiction, health & wellness, meditation, mindfulness, Social Trends, thoughts for living, Uncategorized

break open

My spiritual director/psychotherapist always thought it was a moment for celebration when someone appeared at his doorway in their lowest moment.

“When you hit bottom,” he would say, “then you can break open.”

As difficult and harrowing the journey to the bottom can be, hitting an emotional bottom is a moment of celebration. When a series of unhealthy choices finally shoves your ego off the cliff of a fantasy life, then you have a chance to break free and fully assess where you might go next. And at your most emotionally and mentally battered, you may be more open to the belief that choices you make on your own behalf will lead you to a pathway of peace and security.

Once you hit the valley and the shell of a fantasy existence has cracked open, you will be able to soak in the oxygen of a world who wants you as you are.

Love and light,
The Being Place

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Grow some fruit

health & wellness, meditation, mindfulness, thoughts for living, Uncategorized

fruits-of-the-spirit

Any effort you make to quiet your mind and allow a Higher Plane of Consciousness to emerge will develop personal characteristics which will be abundantly obvious to you and those around you. These qualities will grow prosperity in every segment of your life.  So how can you cultivate this connection?

  • Acknowledge and Trust you have the ability to access this part of consciousness. Some people believe God is Out There and others believe it’s Within. Wherever you believe God to Exist, give yourself the Gift of Access.
  • Choose a time each day to spend in the quiet. The ideal setting is one in which you aren’t multi-tasking. But if your schedule is so busy that the only time you have to reach out or in for God Consciousness is when you’re in the shower or on your commute, then by all means take that time.
  • Pick a phrase or visualize a location which helps reduce your feelings of pressure. Imagine there are no deadlines for you to meet and there’s no agenda for you to accomplish.
  • Breathe. Even if you think you’re breathing, take a breath to make sure.
  • Expect nothing during this time. The fruits will become abundant over time and you will notice them more and more as you go about your Daily Living Experiences.
  • Share what you do with others. Some may be receptive and others might not believe you. But speaking about your routine, will keep you committed to it.
  • Enjoy Your Fruits.

 

 

If you lose your hearing, then talk

health & wellness, meditation, mindfulness, thoughts for living, Uncategorized

For a time I worked in an outpatient program for seniors. It was a special honor to work with these individuals who were willing to share their experiences with each other and to reflect on what they learned across their life. Here are a few thoughts I culled from my time with them: learn-something-new

What to do when you’re not getting it

addiction, health & wellness, meditation, mindfulness, thoughts for living, Uncategorized

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Ever have one of those periods when you have a desire to be better than you are but you seem to be missing a key piece of the instructions and you just can’t seem to get it?

You know you’ve done the work: journaling, talking to trusted people, going to church or support groups. But you’re just not getting it.  And from your point of view it feels like it’s getting worse.

Then, the next thing you know, your mood, mind, and heart are flipped over in the ditch in the journey known as life.

In relationships affected by addiction, it’s common to crash. You keep moving toward them and their addiction moves them away. It’s easy—and dangerous—to be tripped up on the invisible ice that builds from being powerless over another’s life threatening compulsion.

Then, when we find ourselves in the ditch, we’re tempted to spin our wheels because at least that is doing something. Instead of moving us forward, though, it digs us in deeper. It’s frustrating, discouraging and daunting.

So, what to do? Where’s the tow truck? Call Triple A. acceptanceAwareness. Acceptance. Action.

When your efforts to improve yourself seem to be getting you nowhere or you keep slipping back into old patterns despite your good intentions to stop, then the best thing you can do is sit there and do nothing.

Wait. What?

Yes. As counter as that is to this create a to-do list, fill in your planner, complete a bullet journal culture, when it comes to relationships affected by the illness of addiction, sometimes the best thing to do is wait.

And meditate.

So, what’s happening while you’re meditating? Many, many powerful things are occurring.

  • You will grow in awareness of yourself and how you have been affected by others’ actions.
  • You will process what is happening and not what you want it to be.
  • You can dig through your glove box and make sure you have proof of insurance and registration in case the police arrive before the tow truck.

And, then, once all your things are in order, then you will be prepared to move on.

Resentments will stop building and disappear.

Love and compassion for the person affected by an illness will begin to grow.

Addiction takes up a lot of room in a family’s life and sometimes members need their space from others to heal.

And, that’s okay. While you’re waiting for the Triple A tow truck to get you out of the ditch, you can use the time to look at life from a different perspective and rid yourself of things that are tripping you up.

After all, that’s what ditches are for.

For more information about addiction, visit www.thebeingplace.net

Time tripping and the power of now

health & wellness, meditation, mindfulness, thoughts for living, Uncategorized

“Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time—past and future—the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.”
Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment   

The only moment which can be relied upon is the current one. Beyond this, everything is up for grabs. To be comfortable with the emptiness of the unknown is challenging and improbable to me. Yet, do I have another choice? My thinking wants me to believe I do.  I can and do fill up my time thinking about the future. Yet this is nothing because my thoughts can’t occupy the space of the future, they can only occupy right now.

Understanding this offers me freedom from the illusion of control based on my thinking. If I can remember, it’s a blessing to discover there’s power in my powerlessness over what comes after now.

new-microsoft-publisher-document-6

Pray to God and then plant a tree

health & wellness, meditation, mindfulness, thoughts for living, Uncategorized

 

nature_big_tree_hd

I thank you, God, for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes. e.e. cummings

We plant a tree and have faith it will grow for decades to come. When we see trees on our walks and Sunday drives, we can offer a prayer of thanksgiving for the anonymous person who years ago planted it for the mothers, fathers, and children he would never meet.

If we can take ourselves out of the equation and make decisions based only on what’s beneficial for future generations, we are in God’s will. At a conscious level, we frequently are not aware of how far out our ripples extend.

Prayer and meditation improves our conscious contact with God who then directs us to plant trees. Otherwise, we bumble through life, benefitting from others’ hard work but not contributing to the comfort and security of our children.

Your obsessions can be your salvation

autism, creative non fiction, health & wellness, meditation, mindfulness, thoughts for living, Uncategorized

My youngest son, Daniel, and our dog, Pepper, made our daily field trip to the nearby developed lake. We hunted for turtles, fish, and green algae. I have surrendered the idea of convincing my son about switching obsessions to something else because of my opinion of its tediousness. He loves this daily ritual of speaking to the flora and fauna and listening to their quiet. So, who am I to disrupt this calming activity, which, once I look past its repetitiveness, is calming to me, too?

The symptoms of repetitiveness and obsession are aspects of my son’s diagnosis on the autism spectrum. He is rated “high functioning,” whatever that means. I am rated a high functioning recovering person. My home environment mostly reflects my high functionability withgood-orderly-direction echoes of chaos. I married a high functioning working man who has an obsession of taking opportunities wherever they take us. They have taken us to eight homes in 18 years. That’s a household move every 2 ½ years. So, it ought not be a shock that some boxes are 18 years old, but when I look at them I am surprised that they are still with me. They are loaded into the moving van and relocated. This last relocation, however, feels like a long-term one. While I rationalize it as being in my son’s best interest, I know deep down it’s in my best interest, too, to stay put. More boxes have been unpacked than ever before, including the 30 plus ones bequeathed to me by my mother.

One room displays like a museum. It is perfectly put together and we don’t live in it. It is used only as a passage way into the kitchen. It is an unattainable model for the rest of the house. Every other room is in some kind of organizing process with a few boxes scattered around as reminders to my previously vagabond life. My son, with his obsession to reliable routines, is helping me exchange my feelings of discomfort to feelings of security for order and structure.

Life’s vulnerabilities

meditation, mindfulness, thoughts for living

envoyMy vulnerability compels me to turn to God who could protect me. The mystery is that Eternity is kept behind a light-blocking curtain which is only pulled back when we cross over. I accept death as a part of having been born although today it’s with resignation and not peace.

All of the certitude of the certain Christians makes me feel vulnerable because I am scared my doubt and skepticism puts me in a position to be harmed by God. I defend against my vulnerability with anger.

Lonely as a Cloud

meditation, mindfulness, thoughts for living

We spend our time absorbed in our lives and later discover it won’t endure. The Jeopardy-life trivia that I made my bed 250 days in a row or that I’m abstinent from sugar and alcohol for 1,096 days straight won’t matter to the generation 100 years from now.

The world is divided among people who are struggling or dancing through their day. Some people are walking around with a cloud over their head. You can nearly reach up and touch the cloud, the burdens they bear are so great. Others seem to skip through their life as if under their feet are the white cotton versions of the grey clouds that hang over others. Others don’t have the clouds over their heads or under they feet. They’re dog paddling through the fogginess of their lives. Many days I feel like I’m in the fog category: I’m not sure where I am and I certainly don’t know how I got there.

Any random set of circumstances can occur in any given moment. Our bumper is rear ended at the intersection. Our wallet is stolen from the office. A child is unexpectedly diagnosed with a lifelong disability or life threatening illness. We set out in our lives with good intentions, but so many factors out of our control pave the way to our personal hell.

Is the concept we all have choices in our attitude a luxury of people who have access to resources? Or is developing the right attitude the springboard for the universe to send resources and choices our way? I meet people every day who have enormous obstacles to overcome yet seem to have found the key to developing a positive attitude anyway. The world would understand their negative frame of mind over their circumstances, yet they refuse to accept this point of view. Contrast them with people who fritter their lives away. They hold Sharpie marked cardboard signs asking for handouts and offering God’s blessings. They believe emotional manipulation of others is a better use of time then manipulating their own emotions and thoughts.

In a 100 years, the trivialities of life will be lost to obscurity and of no consequence. I can’t even comprehend the vastness of the world and that across the ocean are other individuals involved in the minutiae of their lives. But if I bring my attention to now, I can comprehend the person sitting across from me at lunch and give my attention to them without thinking about myself. This focus which flashes like lightening in the dark cloud sky matters for this moment and attracts the attention of others. And this momentary attention is all I have to offer up as a gift and the rest of the time is in God’s hands.

lonely as a cloud