Is it safe to remove your mask?

health & wellness, holidays, meditation, mindfulness, psychotherapy, thoughts for living, Uncategorized

masks, love

The middle school students told me they are more comfortable sharing about themselves with their dads than their mothers. Why? Because mothers get too emotional when they hear stories of their children making poor choices.

It’s not that their fathers don’t care. They do, they told me. They respond with discipline but without the emotion.

But, generally, they said, they offer alternative stories depending on the audience.

As adults, we do this, too. At home we grumble about the boss but at work we paint on a fake smile and say, “great!” when he asks us how we are.  Or a customer yells at us and instead of ripping them a new one like they are ripping us, we calmly reply, “I hear your concerns.”

It’s appropriate to change our behavior based on our environment. But if we believe we never have a place where we can show our true colors and emotions, then depression is bound to visit.

If you find yourself depressed because you can’t share with someone else how you truly feel, then please reach out. We’ll help you find a healthier way of being.

http://www.thebeingplace.net

 

 

 

 

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Letters to a Dearheart

caregiver, family, forgiveness, health & wellness, meditation, mindfulness, thoughts for living, Uncategorized
love is the answer
Have you ever wished you could receive a letter in the mail which would address your concerns or fears and spoke to you in such a manner that you felt unconditionally supported?

The Being Place’s “Letters to a Dearheart” are meant for someone such as you.

Dearheart, 

This has been a difficult month for us, Dearheart. Many dangerous people exist in the world and it’s a challenge to feel safe. Our provoked fears may intensify other unfinished business which for most of us, most of the time lies dormant. Then, something we hadn’t planned or expected occurs, and those deep rooted attitudes of resentment, anger, and bitterness can rear their heads and convince us that love is not the answer but isolation is.

Dearheart, keep up your spirits. We all go through personal periods of loss and tragedy during which we turn inward to a time of solitude as part of a process for healing. This solitude is a necessity to recalibrate and reorder our minds and hearts which are frequently ripped by change. But as you’re seeking inward, remember to also send out the good energy which is the essence of you, Dearheart. Unpredictable human beings have buffeted the progression of the world since time immemorial. Whether acts of violence occur because of mental illness or the soul sickness, known as evil, hatred and judgement, makes no difference. All of those etiologies are healed by positive vibrations others send out on behalf of a Higher Power who is All Power (God).

Whether or not you want to march with signs of love and understanding in the public venues or send it out quietly from your living room makes no difference, Dearheart. Either way, love is continually being cycled through the universe.

All actions, whether they are positive or negative, begin with an intention, Dearheart. And our spirits, which seem as if they can withstand the great blows of fate, are so often eroded by the “nibbling of numbers, the creeping of days, the numbing treachery of littleness, of important littleness.”

How do you cleanse yourself, Dearheart? The same way you heal the world. You do this through prayer and meditation and you share your fears and sorrows with another human being, who will then help you reclaim the grace that was subsumed with judgement.

If you need me, I am here, Dearheart.

Layer upon layer of daily living takes its toll on us, Dearheart. When you wipe away the grime and the grit, though, underneath it is a Dearheart of Gold.

 

Mama called the doctor

health & wellness, meditation, mindfulness, psychotherapy, thoughts for living, Uncategorized

monkey

If someone is sick, you take them to the doctor. Sometimes, paramedics are called in to put the person in an ambulance to take them to the ER.

So where do you go if you are spiritually sick? You go to the Spiritual Doctor. Of course, there are specialists who deal with the brain, the heart, the skin, the kidneys. If you have a cold, you can go to the brain doctor, but it’s not necessary. The brain doctor might choose to not see you because she has more serious cases which require her level of expertise. So you go to the general practitioner who sees a wide variety of common disorders.

How do you decide how spiritually sick someone is? What are their symptoms? And who are the specialists of the Higher Order cases? That’s a tough question for which to determine an answer. Ministers don’t advertise specialties like a doctor does, yet it would seem a similar comparison could be made. What if a Healer was some obscure medicine/religious person who lived in a remote area? How would you find them? And if it’s still ultimately God, God heals us through his people.

You call the Great Healer through prayer, but you still have to pray.

Here are some signs of a spiritually healthy person:

1. An increased tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.

2. Frequent attacks of smiling.

3. Feelings of being connected with others and nature.

4. Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation.

5. A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than from fears based on past experience.

6. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.

7. A loss of ability to worry.

8. A loss of interest in conflict.

9. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.

10. A loss of interest in judging others.

11. A loss of interest in judging self.

12. Gaining the ability to love without expecting anything in return.

 

Stripping away the excess

health & wellness, meditation, mindfulness, psychotherapy, Social Trends, thoughts for living, Uncategorized

dear heartMy ego is scared at least a million times a day and the shell of it is so strong that my spirit can barely breathe. I suffocate my soul with layers of roles and labels I pin on myself.

Eventually, though, through aging and, ultimately, death all of these superficial wallpaper titles will be chipped and stripped away and all to remain will be my spirit and soul. It is this untamable, unnamable aspect of self God loves. Fortunately, the indefatigable spirit within me constantly seeks out God.

Briefly and interstitially it peeks out with no attachment to food, caffeine, money, or smooth relationships. In these rare moments, life can just be as it is and I have an opportunity to soar.

In Your Wildest Dreams

How has a dog improved your place of being?

autism, health & wellness, meditation, mindfulness, psychotherapy, Social Trends, thoughts for living, Uncategorized

dog thoughts

This May it will be four years since we “rescued” Pepper Moo from the Hobbs (NM) Animal Shelter. Truth be told, she has rescued us. Over the years, Pepper has offered us  countless hours of comfort and support. Ostensibly, I agreed to a dog because I had read the research about the many benefits canines offer to people with autism and other disabilities.
When my mother was alive, Pepper, in fact, did rescue her. She had fallen one day and the rest of us were in another part of the house. Pepper with her keen hearing, heard my mother calling for help and she barked and barked until my husband, Mike, investigated. Even though my mother used a wheelchair, she was fairly independent and so many times in the evening, she retired to her room and the rest of us retired to ours. Had Pepper not been on the lookout, my mother might have suffered far more severe consequences than a broken nose that night.
Pepper is on 24-hour duty. When it’s bedtime, Pepper without prompting goes into my son’s room and lays at the foot or on his bed guarding him from nightmares and other anxiety provoking stimulations, such as midnight thunderstorms or distant emergency sirens.
But, mostly, she has rescued me. When my mother died, I saved my grief for the early mornings or afternoons when I was in solitude, except for Pepper. And today was no different.
As a member of Planet Earth and in my current vocation, I am a survivor and witness of grief and loss, respectively. Sometimes, my heart needs a companion while tears cleanse me so I can trudge a little further with others. Pepper has been my loyal companion and I thank God for sending her.
New Microsoft Publisher Document (2)

Do you need a breakthrough?

health & wellness, meditation, mindfulness, psychotherapy, thoughts for living, Uncategorized

swimmer (800x439)

One of the most gratifying aspects of serving as a counselor is the breakthrough moment clients experience in finding the source of dissonance within their lives. Whether it’s the honest acknowledgement of a feeling towards another or the awareness of their own behavior, the breakthrough moment is an earth-shaking moment which is felt by both of us.

How does the process unfold to arrive at a particular apex in time? Like a drowning person who is frantically swimming to the water’s surface, a counseling client is sifting through a tidal wave of emotions and thoughts which is submerging her authenticity. A word at a time, a client wrings out the excesses of her relationships to get to the simplicity of one relationship—the relationship with herself.

When the breakthrough occurs, it’s like the near drowning swimmer who has reached through the water’s surface. He is freed to let out the carbon dioxide suffocating him and inhale the oxygen of a life that has been missing. It’s a release of a defense from the intimacy with the universe followed by a burst of energy which gives back a life for one’s self.

What breakthrough moment are you waiting for?

Remember to BREATHE

health & wellness, meditation, mindfulness, Social Trends, thoughts for living, Uncategorized

Then the LORD God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. Genesis 2:7

Has your life knocked the breath out of you? No wonder, as multi-tasking has been tagged as the the working person’s holy grail when it comes to getting it done.

But for all of the star treatment multi-tasking has garnered over the years, efficiency experts are now learning that focusing on one task at a time is more productive than simultaneously attempting to complete many things.

If you find yourself distracted and scattered throughout the day, spending a few minutes paying attention to your breathing can bring back your focus.

According to integrative health physician Andrew Weil, M.D., “practicing regular, mindful breathing can be calming and energizing and can even help with stress-related health problems ranging from panic attacks to digestive disorders.”

Breathing by its very nature is a singular activity. Try exhaling and inhaling at the same time. As a foundation to a mindfulness way of life, breathing is the cornerstone.
Here are some tips for beginning a mindful breathing practice:

1. In the beginning, just breathe and pay attention to your breath without any inclination to adjust its depth or length.
2. If feeling anxious, take time to breathe deep into your belly. This breath intention will help dissipate feelings of anxiety.
3. Alternate breaths by covering one nostril and taking one inhale and exhale with one nostril and then switching. This technique will bring more attention to the air that passes through your sinus.
4. Say a phrase that helps you focus on your breathing, such as “breathe in faith, breathe out fear.”

Many books, cds, and dvds are available from a variety of sources for personal use to learn how to improve your breathing technique. Local community groups, such as mental health groups or hospitals, may offer in-person classes.

At its breakneck speed, life takes our breath away. Taking a few minutes each day to catch it, will allow us to be living beings again.

Hit bottom and rise up!

addiction, health & wellness, meditation, mindfulness, Social Trends, thoughts for living, Uncategorized

break open

My spiritual director/psychotherapist always thought it was a moment for celebration when someone appeared at his doorway in their lowest moment.

“When you hit bottom,” he would say, “then you can break open.”

As difficult and harrowing the journey to the bottom can be, hitting an emotional bottom is a moment of celebration. When a series of unhealthy choices finally shoves your ego off the cliff of a fantasy life, then you have a chance to break free and fully assess where you might go next. And at your most emotionally and mentally battered, you may be more open to the belief that choices you make on your own behalf will lead you to a pathway of peace and security.

Once you hit the valley and the shell of a fantasy existence has cracked open, you will be able to soak in the oxygen of a world who wants you as you are.

Love and light,
The Being Place

Getting out of a tight spot

health & wellness, meditation, mindfulness, thoughts for living, Uncategorized

miracle

“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” (Harriet Beecher Stowe)
Life can be a fickle, tricky business. When life pummels your heart and mind, it can be tempting to give up.  When you’re putting together the pieces of a broken heart, broken mind or broken life, sometimes the only remaining solution is to wait it out until it all fits back together.
Absolutely everything eventually changes. Your mind may try to convince you otherwise. But guaranteed, everything eventually changes.
Truthfully, sometimes the change can be a change for the worst. And even if that is the case, it, too, is temporary. Because everything eventually changes. So, if you are at a low point, what might you miss out on if you didn’t wait for the change? If you leave us, you will never know. And neither will we.
You don’t have to wait it out alone, though. You can if you want. But you don’t have to.  Who you ask to wait with you is important, though. Oftentimes we can speed up recovery if we cooperate with the helpers, and sometimes it takes the amount of time it takes. So the person who waits with you needs an extra dose of patience. And so do you.
Little by little absolutely everything changes. So please, don’t leave five minutes before your miracle change happens.
Love and light,
The Being Place
If you or someone you know is suffering from depression or thinking about suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

What happened yesterday

health & wellness, meditation, mindfulness, thoughts for living, Uncategorized

gods-willA powerful suggestion I heard from someone older and wiser than me about how to figure out how to do God’s will today. Take a piece of paper and divide it into two columns. On the left side write out all of the things you hope to accomplish, big and small, such as having lunch with a friend or meeting a deadline on a work project. Leave the right side blank.

When you get to the end of the day, write out what actually happened. There you have it, that’s what God’s will for the day was. Call me if you need anything….and be careful out there.