“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
― Groucho Marx
July 28, 2015, made for 18 years of wedded bliss and we were married by a judge.
I think the juries of our families might have come back with a verdict of “this won’t last.” But they all wisely kept it to themselves.
We eloped because we (I) wanted to avoid the emotional stress of orchestrating a formal wedding. We picked Lovington, NM, as our destination. With two “best women” as our witnesses we agreed to the civil vows given to us by the judge.
Nine months later we followed up with a reception at the insistence of our families (who I think secretly would have liked the emotional stress of a formal wedding). Many precious friends and family attended the reception and gave us fine gifts. The gift I treasure the most, though, is the “Book of Marriage Wisdom” I asked our guests to write in.
Their thoughts have helped us over the years, maybe you’ll find some that will help you:
- “Take a lot of walks. Also one day at a time.” (JT and HT).
- “Just be sure to each give a little over 50 percent.” (DL)
- “Three things to remember always: trust, communication, and honesty.” (SW)
- “Don’t wait for the other one to say sorry.” (ME)
- “Be patient with each other!” (BS and OS)
- “The most important thing I’ve learned being married is to remember that you’re in this thing–called life–together. The world around you may fall apart periodically but if you face it together it will all be OK. Mutual love and respect and keeping a relationship alive and growing are essentials. May you always be grateful to God for bringing you together.” (GB and SB)
- “Be good. Love each other. Let God lead you everyday.” (VM and JM)
- “Always keep your face towards the sunlight.” (VT)
- “Love and laugh together for a very long time. Don’t go to sleep mad at each other. (Unsigned).
- “Don’t go over the max on your credit cards.” (MJ)
- “If I had it to do over I would have respected my husbands’ needs more. They may be different from mine and unique to him. If I could practice “live and let live” daily, that would be my goal. Forgiveness is not forgetting, it’s letting go of the hurt. I would pray for God’s will in my mate’s life and realize it was none of my business to figure out what it was. God loves you both tremendously and you are His gifts to each other. (JC)
- “Always talk about stuff. Never go to bed mad at each other. Be each other’s best friend. Make a date night once a week and stick to it. Respect each other’s opinions and don’t try to be someone you think the other one wants you to be. Be yourself. (JAH)
- “Take each other seriously. Take the good with the bad. The good can help get you through the bad. Never stop laughing. Have as much fun as you can. And remember at least life is never boring.” (DRH)
What advice do you have?